Embodying Authenticity

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By Carol Mae Whittick, Toastmasters International

It struck a chord when the 2023 word of the year chosen by the Merriam-Webster dictionary was ‘authentic’. It seems to me that the strong need to understand and experience authenticity is a collective response to the increasingly artificial world we find ourselves in. Both the world of business and the wider world.

As we become increasingly reliant on screened devices for communication and information, we need to be able to discern facts from misinformation, and reality from the augmented.

Image: Yay Images

I believe this starts by embodying our own authenticity, calibrating our inner truth and therefore being able to recognize it outside of us.

But this is not for the fainthearted.

When you are living authentically, there is little middle ground, people either love you or hate you. Which is why it is easier to conform to societal expectations, current narratives and popular ideologies.

Despite knowing this, for me the risk is not what I lose in going against the tide but recognizing that it is imperative for me to live life on my terms. Who wants to live with the agony of regret?

A journey of discovery

After briefly thinking I would like to be a pharmacist – which seemed to appease the expectation that I would do work in the healthcare industry like most of my family – I changed my mind. Partially because I discovered that my pharmacist cousin did not spend her days concocting potions, but mostly because I had developed a deep passion for creativity, especially music. Once I realized that modern music not only came from books that my piano teacher instructed me to buy, but was written by living people who were paid to do it, I wanted in.

As a young girl I was obsessed with pop music. On Sunday evenings I’d bargained with my mother to grant me a few hours with the radio while I listened to the Top 40 countdown and attempted to record my favorite hits on cassette without the jingles. This was my weekly masterclass. I studied the craft of songwriting, first by emulating what I heard and then honing my own style.

Even though I had a talent for music, I faced constant resistance. No-one could see how music would provide a living. They probably thought I would eventually tire of my dream, find a proper job, and do everything I was ‘supposed’ to do.

But that never happened. My life had to be centered on creativity.

A period of compromise

Over the years I had many ‘real jobs’, and although I was mostly a diligent employee, I could never fully commit to them. To me they were always just a way to pay the bills, because the work would never excite me in the way that creating did. Often, I would have an out of body experience, watching myself in these different jobs, like an actor playing a role, selling a product I knew the customer did not need or entangled in workplace politics. I was living a lie, simply going through the motions for the money and it was hurting me.

Eventually, I found a combination that seemed to work, a full-time position at a production company that allowed me time off for performing. All was fine for a while until those old familiar feelings of dissatisfaction and frustration returned. I knew I had to leave.

Fate intervened in 2009 and my job was made redundant. The process reinforced my conviction to figure out how to live life on my terms. I realized I had given three years of my life to build up someone else’s business and now had nothing to show for it.

I was disappointed with myself and decided to never again compromise my dream for someone else’s.

Standing firm

Returning to what has always been true for me has meant shedding the many pretenses I adopted to appease others. I got clear on what is non-negotiable in life, ready to stand firm against the inevitable resistance and judgement.

There is so much external pressure to do, be and have at moments in our lives, which I suspect contributes to the prevalence of anxiety in society. By placing so much value on external validation, people are hiding who they really are, building lives based on a false version of themselves. Their prevailing sense of unease is the part of them that knows something is wrong. So, it is time to be brave rather than fainthearted. Live authentically across the board in your business and personal life and experience the happiness this can bring. As Carl Jung famously said, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”

      Carol Mae Whittick is a member of Toastmasters International, a not-for-profit organization that has provided communication and leadership skills since 1924 through a worldwide network of clubs.

There are more than 400 clubs and 10,000 members in the UK and Ireland. Members follow a structured educational program to gain skills and confidence in public and impromptu speaking, chairing meetings and time management. To find your nearest club, visit Toastmasters International.