This Is How You Love Her: Conversation with Traci Saulsberry

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  Traci Saulsberry is a senior communications executive, leadership coach, and writer. At twenty-seven, she became one of the youngest Black executives at NBC, where she spent fourteen years shaping narratives at the highest levels of entertainment. She later built and led the communications team at Peacock during its launch. She is currently a host and narrator for Calm, guiding original series that help audiences navigate life with clarity and care. As a leadership coach and speaker, Saulsberry helps professionals find and own their voice. She is an adjunct professor at Syracuse University’s Newhouse School, teaching entertainment publicity.

In this conversation, Traci discusses her new book, This Is How You Love Her: A Journey to Radical Self-Love.

Geetesh: Traci, your upcoming book, This Is How You Love Her: A Journey to Radical Self-Love, is deeply personal and reflective. What compelled you to write this book at this point in your life and career? Was there a defining moment that made you feel this story needed to be told?

Traci: I have always been a writer at heart. As a little girl, I had notebooks filled with short stories and doodles. I was always trying to make sense of the world through words. But I did not see a clear path to making that a career. Eventually, I found publicity. It gave me writing, storytelling, the chance to shape narratives and build worlds. I thought I had found my way.

But life has a funny way of returning you to your truest self.

After years in corporate America, building teams, launching major platforms, curating what looked from the outside like a very successful life, everything imploded. The career. The relationship. The identity I had carefully constructed. I found myself faced with a question that had been chasing me my entire life: Who am I? Without the titles, without the structure, without the version of myself I had learned to perform.

In trying to answer that question, I started writing again. At first it was just for me. A way to process, to excavate, to understand what I actually believed and wanted and needed. But it quickly began to feel bigger than that. I realized the questions I was grappling with around identity, perfectionism, control, boundaries, worthiness were not unique to me. Every day people quietly carry questions like who I am, why am I here, what do I actually want, while still trying to show up and perform in their lives.

That is when I knew the story needed to be told. The details are mine, but the journey belongs to anyone who has ever had to start over from the inside out.

Geetesh: You describe the book as a “vulnerable narrative guide” that blends memoir, poetry, and reflection prompts. What do you hope readers will walk away with after finishing the book? Are there specific shifts in mindset, confidence, or self-awareness that you hope it sparks?

Traci: I have never been someone who thrives on rigid frameworks or filling out charts. Growth isn’t systematic. It’s not one size fits all. I’ve always learned just by hearing people share their stories and seeing where their truth shows me more of my own.

When I began my own journey toward self-discovery and ultimately self-love, I tried to follow the pop culture version of it, which often involves escaping your life and running off to a faraway land. Because of my circumstances, I couldn’t run. Most people cannot. I was frustrated. I thought maybe self-discovery just was not meant for me.

So, I decided to create my own domestic exploration. I thought, I will find myself right where I am, at home.

The book reflects that. It is a mix of memoir, short stories, cheeky guides, poems, journal prompts. I even include pages from my actual journal, which still feels incredibly vulnerable, but necessary. I want readers to see that growth is messy and circular. It is not linear. It does not move in tidy steps. It unfolds in small, ordinary moments.

I hope readers walk away with permission. Permission to not have it all figured out. Permission to question the roles they have been performing. Permission to slow down long enough to ask who they really are and what they actually want.

More than anything, I hope people walk away with a deeper sense of self-trust and self-love. That they see they do not need to run to find themselves. And even if they do, they still have to come home to themselves.

Geetesh: Much of your career has centered on communications and leadership presence. In your book, you explore the idea of identity beyond the roles we perform. Do you believe that authentic communication begins long before someone opens PowerPoint? How does a deeper understanding of identity change the way a leader shows up when presenting ideas, leading meetings, or speaking from a stage?

Traci: I love that you ask this because in much of the book, I double down on the fact that I don’t claim to have all of the answers. I don’t think anyone does, and I am wary of those who claim they do. The self-help world has historically been hyper-focused on experts laying out frameworks and theories. What I do have is my story.

And I do know this: showing up in any corporate space and not knowing who you are is detrimental to yourself. You are susceptible to living your life through someone else’s story, someone else’s expectations and barometer of success. When you walk into a boardroom or onto a stage without a clear sense of yourself, you’re merely performing a role you didn’t create. That’s exhausting and even more than that, it’s keeping you from your true purpose. You can’t achieve your life’s purpose when you’re pretending.

Anyone showing up in a full understanding of who they are is going to live a fuller life. That much I know for certain. And I have learned that is far more important than how you perform in a meeting or present an idea.

Knowing who you are equates to a better life.

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